Sunday, April 26, 2020

NO LIGHT NO WARMTH: Oiled Paladin (Class: Specialist)

Somewhere towards the southern edge of the tetrahedral world, an expedition gathers...

This is for deus ex parabola's edge-climb campaign thingy, not GROG or the Mountain.

EDIT 2020-08-05: Defiance Dice are d4s now. They were too damn good.

Class: Oiled Paladin (Blue Heretic)

The Blue Heretics hate this shit. Hierarchy? Theology?? In the days when the g_ds still deigned to speak with us there was no Church. Maybe if the world wasn't filled with cowards and sluts and other products of church-ery, the g_ds would still be around.

You're a follower of the Blue Heresy and you're damned proud of it. Let the priests in their cathedrals rail against you, for here at the edge of the world you are beyond the pathetic reach of their Church. You oil your body and wear your mask proudly, for it marks you as one who is—above all else—not afraid.

This is how you should play every character with a link to the divine, but it's especially how you should play an oiled paladin.

Tenets of the Blue Heretics, in order of importance.
  1. Never give in to cowardice. You can retreat from a fight, but only if you make it clear to whatever you are retreating from that you could destroy them but are simply choosing not to.
  2. Never let yourself be governed by another. If you do something for someone, it is because you wish to, not because you were commanded. Disobey direct orders, or rationalize them as actually your idea and perform them with your own flair.
  3. Be disrespectful, drink in public, fraternize with prostitutes and tax collectors, throw garbage at rich people. If someone tells you to do these things, immediately become super polite and bougie just to screw with them.
  4. Don't carry more of anything than you need. Share your booze, food and money with the beggars of the street.
  5. Communicate through a medium-to-high yell at all times, especially when talking to people who can't beat you up.

If you take off your mask or break a tenet, you lose all your DD and can't use any Oiled Paladin class features except oiled and extra attack per round until you put your mask back on and do at least three of: Get good and drunk, yell at someone, start a fight that could have been avoided, eat a solid meal, get a good night's sleep.

For every template of this class you have, you gain +1 HRTS or SAVE (your choice at each template). You use the specialist to-hit progression, increasing by +1 at templates B and D.

Starting Items: A blue mask (see image), simple but revealing workman's clothing (probably jorts and a cropped denim jacket), hatchet and hammer (both light weapons), sheath of 10 eighteen-inch iron spike nails, skin of scented oil, pint flask of hard liquor, and one piece of gear rolled randomly from the list at the end. You can't fumble with blunt or chopping weapons, like cudgels, maces, staves, axes, hammers, and machetes. You can't wear armor unless you have training or templates in another class that lets you.
Skills: 1. Mockery and Invective, 2. Labor, 3. Posturing.

A: Defiance, Oiled, +1 DD
B: Resolute Fury, +1 DD
C: Harangue, Extra Attack Per Round, +1 DD
D: Absolute Resolve, From Hell's Heart, +1 DD

A: Defiance
You have a pool of Defiance Dice, or DD, which are d4s equal to the number of oiled paladin templates you have. You can roll any number of these when you roll a d20, and add them to the result. DD that come up a result less than or equal to the number of DD you rolled are expended until you get a good long rest, otherwise they return to your pool.

A: Oiled
While conscious, oiled up, and wearing your mask, you are protected as if by clothing appropriate to the environment and leather armor. If you receive training or templates in a class that lets you wear better armor you can do so, but you consider it at least a slight indignity and it won't stack, you just take the higher AC.

B: Resolute Fury
You can roll and expend any number of DD to enter a resolute fury for [best] minutes, gaining a [best] bonus to all rolls related to mobility or resistance, causing your fists and feet to count as light weapons that deal an additional [best] damage, and rendering you immune to pain, fear, and other negative mind-affecting abilities for the duration. While in a fury, you must roll SKLL to avoid doing things that are bold, heroic, and utterly foolhardy, and ignore [best] slots of exhaustion but gain [lowest] slots of exhaustion after your fury ends. You can attempt to roll SKLL once per round without spending an action to end your fury before its duration.

C: Harangue
You can roll and expend any number of DD to spew a stream of inspiring invective for [best] minutes. Allies that can hear you gain a [best] bonus on rolls against fear or intimidation and ignore [best] damage from each attack for the duration, and enemies that can hear you must check Morale when the haranguing starts.

D: Absolute Resolve
When you have at least one DD, you can roll and expend all DD you currently have to do one thing that's probably impossible but not completely out of the question to save your own life or the life of one of your party members. Break out of unbreakable bonds, end up clinging to the cliff face thirty meters down after a nasty fall, step into the way of a killing blow meant for your ally, et cetera. Gain [lowest] slots of exhaustion after the effect resolves.

D: From Hell's Heart
When an attack drops you to 0 or lower HP, you get a free attack against whatever made it.


  1. Workman's rucksack. Plenty of hooks and loops and pockets.
  2. Kukri. Heavy axe-like machete/dagger intended for chopping. Medium weapon that takes up space like a light weapon.
  3. Tin of smoked tea and insulated thermos. Thermos keeps temperature for most of a day. 1 slot each.
  4. 100' rope and rope-clips. 2 slots.
  5. Tongs. Counts as light weapon.
  6. Flask of expensive brandy. By far the nicest anyone you meet will have ever had, unless they're fabulously rich, and even then they'll admit it's pretty good. 1/3rd of a slot.
  7. Overengineered buckler with a lantern hook and plenty of spikes. Light weapon, +1 AC, can hold a lantern, 1 slot.
  8. Lightweight wok. Very well designed, could serve as a light shield if you put straps on it, or a sled or a bucket or something. Only takes up 1 slot as long as it's tied down properly.
  9. Sturdy pair of leather gloves. Nearly fireproof.
  10. 20 hand-rolled cigarillos. Roll a d20 per cigarillo when smoked, you keep them all mixed together, it's more exciting that way: 1-10 tobacco, 11-19 mild psychedelic, 20 explodes (both literally and mechanically) for 1d6 damage to the smoker per 20 rolled with no save. 1/3rd of a slot.
  11. Small statue of a cat covered with gold leaf. 1 slot.
  12. Very nice silk brocade cloak and braided chain to affix it. +1 on reaction rolls. 1 slot.
  13. 3 ornately carved jade knives. Not especially effective as weapons. 1 slot total.
  14. Bottle of liquid soap, useful for getting all the old oil off you, as antifreeze, for cleaning just about anything, greasing something, etc. 1/3rd of a slot.
  15. Trick ring containing one dose of extremely deadly poison.
  16. Big bowl-shaped straw hat.
  17. Gigantic wooden collar. Bite ring holds it in place, can't talk while wearing it. +1 AC, 1 slot.
  18. Calligraphy set. Several colors of ink, pens, brushes, et cetera. 1 slot.
  19. 3 javelins. Light weapons, 1 slot total.
  20. Something weird. Roll 1d4:
    1. Skeleton key. Made of bone, capped with a mouse skull, whispers in the dark. Can break off in any lock to unlock it, once closed that container can never be unlocked again.
    2. Rusted iron crossbow bolt. Stained with old blood and always warm. If embedded in flesh, the target flies into a rage and won't stop fighting until subdued.
    3. Crude map scratched on a piece of tree bark. Always depicts the surrounding 444', but difficult to navigate by since it doesn't compress distances logically, highlights terrain features of little import, and sometimes doesn't show ones of great import.
    4. Scrap of a torn banner. Shows the symbol of whatever organization the viewer is most afraid of. When you look at it, it's solid black, of course—you're not afraid of anything.

1 comment:

  1. I really like the defiance dice concept. I assume they're meant to be d6?